Craziness

I'll spend my life heartbroken
reaching for a love that has never been possible
hating that I am trapped in a fatal fantasy

not a single soul can reach inside
the walls I created over and over again
built to never crumble again

been used a time one to many
should have known that craziness causes me to bleed
pouring the toxic words you said to me on the wounds

I'll spend my life shattered
unable to love to the full extent I was before
hating that you've taken that special place forever

Knots

breaking my heart over and over
breathing is so much harder when your gone
even though you don't know it
your words create emotions I try to ignore
but I am tied in knots trying to forget them
for every one untied you create 10 more
unknowing that you have broken my soul
into a million pieces once again
my heart can not beat and my brain is starving
falling over and over again for your eyes
wishing that you'd see the unknown broken promises
creating holes in my being
cutting me down to a wisp
not enough air to survive
breaking over and
over
a
g
a
i
n
.

If I say it what will you tell me?

I know I'm hard to deal with
You have the patience of a saint
My issues out weigh my sanity
these flaws crisscross my skin
like tattoos marking me badly

I can't take the what ifs anymore
I want to love you but I am terrified
Gave everything one too many times
the burn marks scared my heart hard

I know the uncertainty of it all
Your logic filling in the blanks
counting the ways we will break
falling is impossibly possible

I know I'm hard to deal with
Your everything I need forever
I'm fighting the need to tell you
for your heart is hidden to me
 Just needing your arms around me