Sinking Ship

In days past we walked down a beach
hand in hand discussing our futures
stars in our eyes as we dreamed

Now the future is here but you are gone
I have not hand to hold
stars have turned to tears

every grain of sand we touched
washed away from the shore to
lay on the bottom of the ocean floor

that is where our star struck dreams lay
left for the fishes and dark
as I sit here alone

I wonder as I walk this beach anew
how my heart is still locked
when I know the key you hold
can stop this clock of flowing tears

In days past we walked down this beach
making promises that we could not keep
yet, I need your hand back in mine

You have been my anchor in the storms
of my past and I am being tossed about
why can't you see I am sinking

I will sink to the bottom of the sea
to find those sunk dreams
if only to feel the memory of your love

heart melting

the melting and hardening of the ice around my soul is deafening
get the creaking and snapping keeps boucing off the inside of my chest
as it heaves
in and out,
out and in,
then stops
then goes
I harden this piece of me over and over again
hoping against all odds that it wont thaw
or snap or crack or whatever it is my soul is doing

like the fissures of glaciers my soul is being carved
not like the elegant sculptures but in a grotest display of defiance
out and in,
in and out,
then goes,
then stops
the very thing that makes me me is this patteren
the idea that to love you is to not have you melts my soul then quick freezes
like permafrost on the roots of the vines that your words are
resting against my soul

leeching away my need to harden myself,
in and out,
out and in,
frozen outside,
but within my soul weeps.

its you I run to

your boggling my brain and addling my wits
leaving me lost in a way that I just don't want to quit
knowing that forever is the game of choice I play
while today is the only world you know

 but there you are
that person i run to
why can't you just not be there

your holding my heart hostage and running away all the same
leaving me lonely in a way that I don't know how to erase
telling me your broken in ways i can not know
while the ties that hold us pull

but there you are
that person I need
why can't you make this go away

your boggling my brain and breaking my heart
leaving my mind in shambles that can't be fixed
knowing, forever knowing that my choice is forever
and you live only for today.