Can we...

Can we find a way to make this invisible wall fall
an iron curtain that makes us connected but trapped
the pull to sit at its wall and wallow inescapable
whilst it tears one of us apart from the inside out

Leading parallel lives, floating through this existance
our utter connectedness is as imagined as real
in one soul so tangagle it aches,
while the reality is, it's imaginary

 Pulling away from this intangible pull is improbable
as improbable as the inivisble iron curtain can be
yet this one soul knows the other is there
floating
wallowing
tearing apart
from the inside
out

Can we find a way? Can this soul be set to exist? can we...

idolizeation

the world surrounds me in words and meaning
swarming me with images of who to be
idolizing images so altered their words are nonexistant

what do they call me?
Brave, Stupid, Lost, Pathetic?
or are those the words that are implied
with the looks and touches

where reality stands is shaky ground
for we are made in the images of our maker
be it God or Allah or Gaea
we should exude that grace

then the mirror shows us truths we do not want to see
yet are our own perfections and our armor from the world
why idolize the non-existent, when perfection is in the uniqueness of ourselves.

glass ceiling

the world around me is always shattering
I've never had a foothold that kept me from falling
the glass ceilings laid out before me always crack
not tumbling but flying without direction

a roller coaster of emotions and thoughts
spiraling up
then slamming full tilt at the ground
caught only in the last moment before the crash
just to reach that ceiling again

reality is a prospect that few want to live
better off in the worlds in our heads
no one there can tear us down
or build us up, just to disappoint

the world is a garbage heap of unheard prayers
and unshed tears swirling in a hailstorm of screams
too focused on our own selfish needs
no one can see, we are too little of what we need
wanting and longing left in the place of the future

The Skeptic

most see me as an idealist
doing and hoping for the best
but the real me is a jaded skeptic of reality
for every thing has a cycle
good and bad come in unison
light and dark always follow one another
so why just trust that these happen?
why not hope for a different patterned
while knowing there are infinite possibilities
everything can go right or wrong
it could change with the winds
ebb and flow like the tide
or be never ending like CBR
but why should that be called idealism?
When all I do is doubt
I don't just dream
I seek as many realities and I can imagine
then hope it might be what I want
but realize the infinite is not controllable
I must just doubt so that when the dream happens
I am surprised and over joyed 
This is skepticism to its heart
for I am a skeptic

No regrets

I have no regrets
having you be mine
and breaking again slowly
piece by piece
hurts less than not knowing

Shattering as easier than losing this
piece by piece
slowly crumbling like brick
being eaten by ivy
fading into dust on the ground

I look back and wonder but don't wish
this could have never happened and
regret would have haunted me
regrets are non-existant but longin stays
stuck in my mind and soul
sinking deeper

Every broken piece leave a bigger whole
but one day it will be rebuilt
by you, or someone else
the fractures and wholes patched
but our connection won't break

piece by piece we fall apart
in a cycle that is terrifyingly fun
like a roller coaster or tilt-o-whirl
it has a beginning and an end
its just whole long we choose to stay

jumping has left me with my stomach in my mouth
and no one to catch me
too scared to fight the fall that keeps on happening
but in the end
I have no regrets

my downfall

i've dreams of your face so long that seeing it provides a comfort
i dream of impossible realities of being your muse
of creating inspiration in your life
of becoming your only fault
desired and loved till the
stars fade away

we set sails and ride into the open sea
or disappear into lands unknown aspiring for greatness
and failure is fleeting as new ideas form
impractical dreams left hiding in my mind
as you wisk away to play
at soldier once again

In our history they could write a thousand tells
of woes and smiles, adventures and mischief
forever is seems we have circled this path
that never full touches
yet we do not give up on the impossible

no regrets we always say and friends we'll always be
our bed no warmer but our hearts stay strong
and our loneliness is ebbed
by the words we share
and the missing peices
we put together

forever it seems my dreams will call you mine
even with the realizations my head has come by
so in those dreams I will be your muse
inspiring adventures and playing a role
while in life I watch and listen and dream
for impossible realities are only
stops by acceptance and forgetting
and you I will never forget

surrel reality

the cowardice that hides under my skin is tearing me apart
to scared to move forward in a world that's this surreal
where no dream seems to come true without a price
when the days of fairy tales and wonder ruled
smiles stayed sweet and meaningful
deceit was left only for the few villians
the poisoned apples have multipled
and the shinning knights gone extinct
reality is harsh in a grey sheen
leaving it all worthless
unliveable
loveless

tick toc

waiting again in the silence that lays between us
filing away in my mind the number of time I wanted to talk
exclaiming without words the anger I have at myself
tick tocing away the clock keeps going
yet i am left behind
in a silence
dulling
tick tocin away the clock keeps going
judging my heart and mind
timing the breaking
the stopping
of my soul
between these two parallel life's is a secret message
if only it could be read with in the blinking of our eyes
it might determine why im waiting for the shoe
or the rescue to come
tick tocing away the clock keeps going
the world keeps spinning round and round
yet my eyes are still staring at yesterday
and the what if and could have been left behind
tick toc tick toc Can i forget this never ending clock

infinite circle

in the dark I wonder at tomorrow
that uncertain future that waits
in the shadows of our minds
the voices that tell us its not worth the wait
that no matter the future it won't get better

in the twilight hours the voices are screaming
a thousand and one thoughts
calculating how long to hold on
with the realization that tomorrow is empty
without a change to the now

with every uneven breath I breath out
the dark feels ever consuming
yet as i breath in the air it is plausable
it seems simpler
an internal fight  never won
for tomorrow is always today and today is always yesterday
in the passing of a breath

staring into the mirror

one day in the mirror happiness will stare back at me
the reflection that has barely ever been stood before me
radiating everything I have wished upon these thousand stars
till then I stare into a blank void lost in my own woes and errors
trying to fight
to breath
to be
yet falling asunder
dying of my own reluctance
fading into the blackness that has consumed me
with near a speck of brightness to console me

one day my outer calm will break and truth will set me free
when my weakness' will peel away
and my words will be let free
wherefore wishes will be obsolete
and needs left behind
fading
as the light engulfs me

one day I will see myself as others
and find in me a deeper self
till then I stare down the abyss
waiting for to be shown the way
to bring back the lights behind my eye that have faded
and smile once again with renewed joy