stars in never land

staring down this rabbit hole again
knowing the beginning and the end at one time
seeing the pieces implode before they can explode

we say its nothing more than this moment
staring at stars that we know reflect back
everything we have swore to forget

can I just hold your hand and lean on your shoulder
or will the world unravel in that instant I forget
that our story is in a never land that no can forget
we say one thing and mean another while whistling our tune
racing away like the tortise yet we can never win
I've fallen down this rabbit hole and lost sight again

staring at the stars refected back to me I can see the balance tipping
your hearts not mine to take or give or ask to have or hold
we are just the comforts of this world that neither has found to love
so can  lean on your shoulder and know this never land is safe
or will I ride through this happenstance alone 

tiny little secret

this tiny little secret seems to engulf my mind
wondering when the world will tilt and take it away
memories are forever, till you hide them away
but this will not be hidden away, or masked
how can something so trivial fill me with doubts
the who and what and when of me is in jeopardy
forever, never, today, tomorrow, now
this tiny little secret is screaming to be acknowledged
creating a whirlpool of thoughts and dreams
draining round and round and again
left in the aftermath of my internal battles
the past is never as far as we wish yet
the future is streaming with unknown ripples
fighting to forget this past is futile
needing to find acceptance and move past it all
but the tomorrow, now and yesterdays won't forge ahead
they are stuck in this tiny little secrets obsession
swirling around in my head screaming to be heard
yet I smile silently and continue on
improvising the meaning of acceptance